Need sex. Gaining weight.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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