Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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