he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love you. Go after that dick
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