My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
