these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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