all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
