i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
