i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
