Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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