I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He shit in the fireplace
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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