If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
