he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
