do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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