We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Farmville is her only friend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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