I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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