glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
