i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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