Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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