So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
