Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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