glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You work out of a Hotel?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
