Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
