I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
