By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize