no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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