their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
