Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
