Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
