i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
