I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
