They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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