Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
