how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's never too late to be topless.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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