this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
