i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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