Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
