Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
