super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize