He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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