Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize