Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
