butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
