bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
