I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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