i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
