he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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