Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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