**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
