I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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