I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
