i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
