hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
