So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
