I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Never let your siblings swipe right.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize