If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
