Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
