U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
