Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
