it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
