He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
